A Curious Paradox

So today I learned the news that Iowa Court has voided the gay marriage ban, to which I responded with a profile update along the lines of "Woo! Iowa!!!"

Such a statement incited questions from my peers, and one friend asked if we would be getting married now (he was referring to me and Silvia, my girlfriend). It's funny, people have been asking us if we plan on getting married, which is PREPOSTEROUS because we live on different sides of the country, have never lived close to each other, and we're both in our early- to mid- 20s. And we're both wobbly on the idea of committing to anybody right now. That said, I know we both love each other a great deal.

Anyhow, I find it curious and pleasing to the soul that so many people, some of whom have never met a gay person before (or realized an acquaintance was gay), are asking me when we're going to get married. It seems that people believe that because Silvia and I found each other out of all the people in the world, we must surely plan on being together forever. Like, our relationship must really be serious because we're willing to be out and gay because of it. But the fact of the matter is that Silvia and I are both out and gay-- neither of us plans on having boyfriends again, and both of us feel pretty at ease in public being gay. We would be dating women with our without each other, and I didn't magically become gay for silvia (hee hee). I mean, how "out" I feel like being varies day by day, but for the most part, people know I'm gay and I expect them to treat me normally. Therefore, it is mostly not seen as a big deal.

There's this sense, and I think it's a good thing, that gay people have gone through a lot in order to be with each other. This is undoubtedly true. I love my girlfriend, but we are at the same place in our lives as our straight peers who probably don't face the same level of "when are you getting married?" It's a strange little paradox that suddenly as a gay person I'm feeling more pressure to marry than a straight person would. Or maybe the world is getting normal enough now about gay people where suddenly I'm getting a sense of what it would be like to be straight. I can't say I'm sure which it is.

The funny thing though is that if we did get married, I can imagine our party. There would be a lot of drinkin' and dancin', good people from varied walks of life, a kick-ass locale, a shit-ton of fun. But that's a party for people older and wiser than Silvia and me...